Mentally Ill?

Mental Illness has such a dark stigma attached to it. As if struggling to do daily tasks, because we are busy trying our best to regulate our bodies and minds, wasn’t bad enough we also carry the judgment of the world on our shoulders. The judgment from the world around us sometimes feels heavier than the actually mental illness itself. The way someone with a mental disability or illness is treated makes the problem feel like it can never be fixed. Like no matter how hard we try to understand ourselves and others, or how much help we get it’s never good enough. No matter how far inward we go or how much we learn we are just expected to medicate ourselves to be numb to what’s going on around us. We try to speak on a real issues and all others hear is our mental illness talking instead of an actual human being with something real to say. It would be too easy to simply consider someone else’s feelings but not for people who aren’t willing to do the same inner work. They see a mental illness as something that can never be cured but don’t realize it takes all parties to actually balance out the real root of the problem.

The real problem is our nervous systems not getting the chance to regulate causing people to be closed off from their feelings completely. Or on the other end of the scale is those who feel everything and we’re never taught how to regulate it properly. The ones who love with no boundries and the ones who need that love because they no longer can find it within themselves. The ones who love with no boundries will do everything for others who don’t see the value in it. So the ones who love with no boundries will question their worth. They rely on others approval that they never seem to get because they never valued themselves as much as they wanted others to value them. They were never valued as children. It’s a confusing thing when you learned to love others as a child despite how mentally abusive they were and the horrible relationships they were in but when you grow up with the patterns you were shown they all hate you for it. Then you end up being the only one to get help because you can’t handle the abuse anymore and are tagged with a mental diagnoses that they can throw in your face and never take you seriously because of. So no matter how much help you get or how many new tools you have to communicate in a healthy manner all they think is you’re just crazy and having a moment. All they think is your mental illness is talking. Being treated like this when life was already hard is what creates a kind of instability that seems impossible to get out of. When your support system isn’t actually your support system and never has been. They have been keeping a dark cloud over your head for as long as you allow it. For as long as you still don’t see your worth and look to them for it. You will never find your worth if you look to others for it.

You’re not crazy. The way others treat someone who’s already struggling because you’re human with human emotions is what’s crazy. The heavy judgment and shame is crazy. Not you for trying to survive it all. Not you for being the one to get help and gain the knowledge you needed to break the chains. Your mental health diagnoses is not a life sentence even though it is treated as such.