That's the Kind of Friend He Is
For Lana's Fucked-up Wedding Toasts Unofficial challenge
Awright, as most a yee ken, Ahm Tam — the best man an' wan a Frankie's auldest pals. We've been through a load a shite the years.
Ah'm supposed tae tell yee some funny anecdotes aboot oor Francis. Ah didnae wanna drop him in it… but there wis that wan time we were at a fancy clubhouse pool. Ah took a shite in it.
Tae save ma reputation wi one a the lassies there, Frankie took the blame… and actually scooped it out the water wae his bare hawns.
That's the kinda pal Francis is.
The lassie became ma wife.
So cheers tae you Frankie — and congratulations tae the pair a yee!
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: this is for the wonderful Lana's fun Fucked-up Wedding Toasts Unofficial challenge. You have until the end of the month to take part, so do it!
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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More stories from Paul Stewart and writers in Fiction and other communities.
Till Death Due Us Part
This toast is for my ex-wife Carole and Brian. I have no idea what I am doing at this wedding, but don't worry I have not checked the mail in two days. I feel very powerful at this moment, feeling that I have the power to ruin everything with the stroke of a pen or lack of a stroke. However, I would like to wish you both years of happiness, and mortgage payments, and babies and child support. I will be sure to sign on the dotted line, granting you, the freedom to remarry, of course you just did that.
By Gregory Paytona day ago in Fiction
Comments (15)
Lol! 😁 I wrote a shit one too I mean one about poop ha, last week but haven’t shared it as I’ve realised it doesn’t fulfil the brief well. I never read those briefs. Have a good one.
ewwwww..how funny
Well, first of all... ewwwww! 😅 But also - what a friend! 😄
Ugh! So nasty. I hope they drained the pool. Ahm neva going in a pool agin. Shitey men. Ugh.
Oh, I cringed so much at this. But what a good friend Frankie is. (I'm not that good a friend)
OMG, Paul, that is incredibly funny and gross at the same time.
Hahahahaha! Great job!
😂 what I good friend cheers to the groom hahaha. Thanks for the funny read!
Ewww, that's soooo grossss hahahahahahahahahaha
There it is! I knew this was coming and you nailed it. Perfect entry sir
weird friend
Your mind is a swamp of ideas that flourish the needs of the many
I luv the writing in accent!!
Ah, now I see it! Well done, goofball!
A silent toast. Now that’s truly fucked up! 💖💖💖