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To Bob: A Testament of Affection

For Lana V Lynx's "Fucked-up Wedding Toasts" Challenge

By Lightning Bolt ⚡Published about 5 hours ago Updated about 2 hours ago 1 min read
"TO BOB! ... and, um, yeah... her."

Hi...

My name is Brad.

I'mma cloze friend of the groom... although, surprize surprize! big guy!

<aside> He didn't know I waz cumming today.

I've known Bob going on... I don't know, at leas four monthz now... long time... and I wanted to be here on dis auspichiouz occaszion to add my bezz wizhz to all the other shit-ton he'll reczeive t'day.

I will not say how Brad and I met... but I do want everybodyz to appreciate what a bold step thiz iz for 'im... literally taking on the responzibilitiezzz... of building a legazy that will make hiz d'ather proud! That takes a lot of gutz! And I, for one, abmire hiz determi'nashion to change.

Brad izza sexy, passionate man. And I want the bride to know juzz how lucky she iz to be marrying him.

Trust me.

L’CHAIM!!!

~↯

____________________Bolt

PS- The names have been changed to protect the humiliated.

familyHumorLoveMicrofictionMysteryPsychologicalthrillerHorror

About the Creator

Lightning Bolt ⚡

Bolt aka Bill, a bizarre bisexual bipolar alliterative epileptic sexy odd ♒ Aquarian Taco Bell Futurist ~ Author of humor, poetry, history, sci fi, & horror.

4-Time Challenge Winner! 1, 2, 3, 4! (+1?🤞)

I am shock therapy.⚡ Subscribing risks electrocution↯.

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Comments (1)

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  • Lana V Lynx10 minutes ago

    That was hilarious, Bill, with slurred words and everything.

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