Should You Drop Friends Who Want to Split Dinner Check?

This Reddit post resonated with me. A woman went out with friends only ate a small dinner salad and her “friends” ordered the whole nine yards. They offered her some of their wine, and she literally drank a few sips.

Yet, these people had the audacity to want to split the check evenly. OP was defiant. She refused and never got together with this group again.

Too harsh? The Reddit comments agreed. Those dinner companions crossed the line. It’s not stingy or cheap to want to pay only your portion of the bill.

In fact, I would go so far to say, those folks at her table knew exactly what they were doing, and were trying to get away with spending less money at OP’s expense.

This has happened to me countless times, and like the OP, I stick to my guns and only pay my share. As a non-drinker, I refuse to split the bill in half when the other people are on their third or fourth glass of wine.

How do you politely ensure you won’t be stuck with half the bill?

One Redditor suggested that before you even order, tell the server you will need separate checks. Then, politely inform the people at the table that you are on a budget but are happy they invited you, or whatever.

I don’t even think an explanation is necessary. Because then you are basically admitting that you feel an obligation to split the check down the middle. So your buddies might assume that next time, that is exactly what will happen.

Only, it never will, because if someone expects you to divide the bill when it was obvious you ordered less, do you really consider these people friends?

To me, it’s like a shake down. Let’s see how much we can get this dufus to pay… I don’t need friends like that and neither do you. You could argue that they weren’t thinking. Only, I believe they were. They knew exactly what they were doing…trying to scam you. Playing on your good nature to get what they want.

Does This Issue Go Beyond How to Split the Bill?

Do you gravitate towards people who take advantage of you? It’s OK. Don’t beat yourself up. We have all been there.

Dr. Jill Weber says to establish clear boundaries and say no without guilt or excessive justification. Also clearly communicate limits to break the cycle of people-pleasing.

I am guilty as charged. People-pleasing has been in my nature since I was a little girl. Slowly, I have learned to change my ways. I realize now that not everyone is going to like me and that is OK.

I remember in my 20’s that was definitely not OK. In fact, the very thought of not having a slew of friends at the ready was abhorrent.

As we get older though, friends change and in my case, I have much fewer. I can count them on one hand, even a couple fingers! It is no longer important to have as many people in my life as possible.

These days, it seems like the more people you have to deal with, the more drama you are forced to contend with. So, no thanks. I’ll keep my circle of friends small, and limit eating out to just my husband and me. So, who takes care of the check is a non-issue.

Sure, going to dinner with friends is fun, just make sure all parties know ahead of time who pays for what. That is not rude, it is vital, so that you don’t become anyone’s door mat.

On the rare occasions I have lunch with a friend, I’m actually relieved when she asks the waitress ahead of time to give us separate checks.