you attack
no, you smile first
then attack
knife—
yeah
knife in my back
i pull it out
i always do
wipe it clean
make it pretty,
make it something i can use
now—i bite
i bark
i snarl
i growl
ink drips
no—blood
no—both
i write you down
line by line
every word you said
about them
about me
about everyone when you thought no one was listening
funny
now you run
now you hide
now it’s “please”
now it’s pride
say it again
say i’m crazy
say i’m unhinged
say it slower
so it sounds true
i don’t care
i don’t—
i do
i do a little
i do enough to be awake at two
you said i make us look bad
us?
there was never an us
just me
and the version of you
that smiles
the version of you
that cuts me in two
i feel stupid
god i feel stupid
like i swallowed every word you fed me
and asked for seconds
i feel dumb
but not quiet
not anymore
you don’t get quiet
you don’t get clean
i kept the knife
see it gleam
About the Creator
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More stories from Tina D. Lopez and writers in Poets and other communities.
December 8, 1980
When I was six or seven, my stepdad came into my life, and I remember thinking he knew everything. He could befriend anybody, anywhere. In grocery stores, he chatted with strangers over cuts of meat; at gas stations, he bonded with people pumping fuel over how the smell of gasoline was disgusting and yet enjoyable. In restaurants, he took an interest in waiters’ lives—like Steve, whose father was dying of cancer. When Steve’s dad died, my new dad attended the funeral.
By Tina D. LopezExclusive • 2 months ago
The Devil's Lettuce
We're all sitting here in a world where you can buy cannabis infused seltzer at a boutique shop that looks like an Apple store... but for about 80 years, the government treated this plant like it was a literal demon from the seventh circle of Hell. Why? Was it because it was actually dangerous? Please. If being dangerous was the criteria, we would have also banned lawn darts and gender reveal parties decades ago.
By Sara Wilson3 days ago in Potent
Comments (1)
Tina. I barely breathed reading this. It's brilliant and I am not the biggest fan of end rhymes but you nailed they right at the end and the rhyme felt so satisfying. I hope you're keeping your chin.up.anf smiling at least sometimes and that the catharsis is helping.