AROUSAL
Arousal
I woke up today aroused sexually as I stood out of bed pushing down my erection. Visualizing past sexual experiences involuntarily, unbalanced, standing, wiping the crust from my eyes, stumbling slow to the bathroom opposite of my bedroom, I began to feel anger as I became aware of the pulsating ache in my penis I often feel in the morning — it usually goes away upon a splash of water on my face, a look in the mirror and urination. The skin on my penis was tight and dry, accompanied by unusual pressure and stiffness. Tension and stress began to arise, because I had to think about whether to masturbate or not. I had a choice to make — ejaculate and give this semen energy away meaninglessly, or keep my seminal fluid inside. As I’ve aged I’ve built a tolerance for the hormonal spikes and love the tension of keeping my semen, but today I’m weak. I want to feel the immense pleasure of sex, I want to feel the overwhelming sensation of ejaculation. Standing over the toilet pissing, anxiety filled with sexual energy led me to a deeper thought…“I want a female.” I’m hungry for closeness with a woman and have become involuntarily celibate. It’s been two years since I’ve had physical contact with a female, the last time I was able to insert myself inside of a woman. I know why, but it doesn’t stop the growling of my stomach, thinking about the emptiness of how good it feels to be with a female that wants you, wants to touch you, hug you, cuddle, kiss and, most of all, sex. I couldn’t help but be mad — why do these thoughts of woman and sex dominate my mind so much. I can’t help it today. I want to go back to a day when I was disciplined and not distracted with these thoughts, or at least fight them out of my mind. On top of that, the huge pressure of being a man is hard enough, let alone dating. I hate that I want a female mate for companionship, erogenous satisfaction, and emotional security. I remember in the old days they say “love don’t cost a thing” — well, in today’s society you have to pay for love. Everything that is good about love and relationships feels like it’s bad. Money and resources are the new currency for sex, not attractiveness or character. Slowly walking back to my room I had another thought — I’m going to get a substantial sum of money because I’m tired of being aroused with no woman to express with. Instead I will use this energy to change my life, to add substance to my life. Keep your semen and become, release to become none. Today is what I was thinking… sometimes a good trouble, others destructive — just another irrefutable, biological need to be fulfilled, but no — I will retain my seed in avoidance of emasculation, the power emotion.
Comments (15)
🚀 🚀💙💗🌹 Thank you 🌹💛💗🚀 🚀
Congrats Top Story
Well-wrought! On the subject of the grave injustice which the world foists upon us, I always consider Gandalf's exhortation to Frodo from "The Lord of the Rings": "Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill…"
I love how honest and thought-provoking this is.
That mind of yours is getting stronger and facing this world beautifully, you do what you need to do for Sid, No apologies. Congrats.
Aww I love this piece I subscribed love your pieces..plz lmk what you think about my last poem even if it's harsh lol I'd appreciate it 💖💖💖
I lov3 this 🌼🦋🌼
This is beautifull written and expressed, Sid! It raises a lot of important questions. Well done, my friend and congrats on Top Story. Good to be there side by side with you for my own piece!
Interesting poem. Revenge can feel like justice. The way I interpreted your poem is of the balance in seeing the justice of it while also seeking a gimps of providing pardon. Just my take. I like your piece because it makes you think about the greater question.
Once I saw a blind man with no teeth, he was the happiest person I ever met... I wonder why? Congrats on your top story! 🎉🎉 Thank you for providing a glimpse into your mind!
Ooo hitting me with a surprise line, that I didn't expect. I love when that happens. Killing someone being viewed as ending mankind, that is such a beautiful way of measuring the extent in which that act can hit. I do understand your autistic mind and happy that I got a glimpse of what was inside. Congratulations on your top story Sid 🎉🎉🎉
Congragulation🌸🌸🌸
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Some strong thoughts there. Meaningful and deep. I appreciate your world view.
"If you end someone's life, It is like you ended mankind." If you don't mind, could you explain more about those lines?