Springtime "Angst"

sometimes i worry

if my subconscious

dejects

the idea of'

love

because i was

raised

by a

narcissistic matriarchy

thats based its

value system

on

ages old ideologies

too small

for my plus-sized thighs

* * *

and as i desperately

tried

to claw out of my own

skin,

they would

wrap me up

in corsets bound in

degradation

despondency

and doubt

***

and in order to

survive,

i learned to suffocate

my femininity,

my confidence,

my joy,

and pledge blind

obedience

to those who

feared

my silent rage

***

fuck silence.

i now vow

to be

nothing but

loud.