Gerard DiLeo

Joined July 2021

874 stories

Bio

Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!

Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo

[email protected]

Achievements (14)

Stories (874)

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195: I'm No Lesbian
I am not a lesbian, she thought. She knew she wasn't. She insisted to herself she wasn't. It was an honest denial, even though she worshipped and admired women--as a species unto themselves. She was proud to be one. Exalted.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
194 Cynthia's Crack
David said she was hallucinating. She believed him. Indeed, no one else could see the crack three feet in front of her. "Cynthia, you take medication for a reason."
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
Nonet. Top Story - July 2024.
There are nine reasons we must end it Your eight tentacles suck me dry Seven deadly sins kill me Sex numbers our false love
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets
193 Etched in Stone
In a forgotten land, an exquisite palatial colonnade rises from a granite stylobate--foundation supporting its marbled columns. A lofty horizontal mezzanine, contiguous lintel, perches well above the heights of even great men--a circle of architrave, frieze, and ouroboric cornice--that loops for the inquisitive, orbiting eyes that follow it.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
192 Your Daily Heuroscope
URANUS RULES TODAY'S HEUROSCOPE FOR THE FOLLOWING SIGNS Dicks: In the handicapped bathroom stall you will piss the toilet seat and leave the toilet unflushed. You'll offer solace to the wheelchaired man by explaining it's how you found it.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
191 Astrology 2.0 (Asshōlogy). Content Warning.
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE INTERNATIONAL ASTROLOGICAL UNION In response to the scientific community which has successfully propagated the idea that astrology is bullshit, we of the IAU have proposed implementation of a new astrological classification based--not on the Zodiac--but the Blowbac system. That is, what people are, based on how they act and the names given them by others.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
190 The First Commandment
Moses, down from Mt. Sinai, had only one tablet--only one Commandment. Self-appointed prelates, however, began subdividing it:
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
189 Raptus Interruptus
Gavin discovered the quintessential pathos for his documentary--his MFA degree thesis: the Viviano family. Dominick, the father, eschatology devotee, had done research his whole life and knew the exact date of the Rapture, when he, his family, and all God's faithful would be taken up to Heaven, leaving the rest of humanity to face seven years of the Tribulation.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
188 The Breakup
"Let's talk," he offered. "Sure," she replied. "Should I be worried?" He searched for the right words. "There's no way to say it easy."
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
187 Nocturnal Fruitions
By second grade, she and her husband knew he'd be relegated to Special Ed. "What will you discover tonight, Brock?" his mom asked. "Every night you wake up with great ideas. I bet you'll cure cancer tonight. You've already solved the energy crisis, drug addiction, and the homeless problem, right? Because you're a genius, Brockie."
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
186 Independence Day
Around midnight, September 20, 1777, 1200 British soldiers crashed fences and launched a surprise bayonet attack on sleeping American revolutionary troops encamped near Malvern, Pennsylvania. This Battle of Paoli was one of the Revolutionary War's bloodiest.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
185 Special Delivery
The stork knew he was busted. "You called me, sir?" he asked. Mr. Natal looked up. "Yes." The stork waited uncomfortably. Finally, Natal spoke. "You delivered the wrong babies to the wrong couples, Mr. Stork. It wouldn't be so bad, but one's a girl and the other's a boy. Wrong babies, wrong genders--wrong everything!"
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction