Family
Dreams For the Future
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll land among the stars." These are the words I go by every since I was little. Although I'm not exactly where I want to be in life, I'm getting closer. No one prepares you for what life really is. Especially harder for those of us who don't have "normal" families. I have a mother but only knew her 6M my whole life. I do not have a father. I don't have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmas, and or grandpops. Just me and my two older sisters. My oldest adopted me and Charlene, my middle sister, when I was just 8. My oldest, Crystal, was 21 at the age. Before all this though, I was in foster care. Staring from when I can remember. I moved to Texas at some point. Lived with Aunts at the time. They have now passed. This is the time the abuse started. Mental, Physical, and Sexual. Coming back to California I was about 7 Years old. I lived with more foster families, more unknown families. Went through more abuse. Then this is where Crystal had adopted me. Finally thought it was my home run to a happy life. Was great first few years with her, then she meet her girlfriend. Soon after we all started living together. Now with this new girlfriend and her daughter. Growing up it's always about surviving. Doing what you gotta do to get by. Now these tactics come into play. After moving in all together, they would lock themselves in the room. The only time they would come is for food, water, shower, work, take us to school, shopping every once in awhile, and or to go out to the bars. My sister, Charlene and my new sister Suzy would run off together a lot with the boys around the neighborhood. I was always told to stay behind because I was too young. I couldn't understand. I didn't mind at the time because I wanted to be by myself. Only thing I wanted to do is go to school, go do my homework, eat and go to bed. School was my escape. Everyone hated me yet felt they all looked up to me. Middle school life hahaha we all been through the drama. I realized I was way more mature than a lot of these kids. I've experienced the rough side of the world way too early. I knew about the darkness and hatred the world can give you. I wasn't scared of anything or anyone. By this age I was upfront and too real. Told everyone how it is. I got looked down and lot of kids hated me for that. As we got older many people reached out and soon appreciated me for it. Realized who I really was. I kept going through so much hardship and just never stopped. These situations made me just wanna keep pushing. To keep trying, to be the best person I can be. To be that person that I would want to look up to. I have no role models besides myself. I had a job by the end of eight grade when I was 15. That was when I also started to support myself finically. I wasn't paying rent on my own but help with bills around the house. My essential needs and food. Soon after I was able to get my car and moved out as soon as I turned 18. I was also able to finish Highschool in 3 years instead of 4. Very proud of myself for pushing myself even though I had these obstacles. Ever since I got my first paycheck at 15, was the best feeling. Being able to know I can support myself, know that I can accomplish what I want. I worked for this, I deserve this. Soon after moving out real world hit me!
By Brianna Mackey4 years ago in Confessions
The Beast and The Beauty
Moving to Tucson, AZ was not really something I wanted to do. The year was 1999. Concerns about the effect of Y2K, the year 2000 when there was a scare that things run by computers would not make the transition from years that began with 19 or less without major problems, were looming. For example, it was thought that computers would mistake '01 for 1901 instead of 2001. It was the year I would have to move back in with my estranged, abusive husband, and I had heard that Arizona was a beast of a place. An extremely hot, dry, rough state, and not a place that embraced Black people. Sigh. Decisions, decisions. On the upside, it was an opportunity to increase my salary by going from being a secretary (something I was good at), to being an engineer (something I always wanted to be). This opportunity would supply the means to become independent of my soon-to-be ex-spouse without having to struggle so much being a single parent of three young daughters. So, I took a deep breath and made the plunge to move myself and my daughters to Tucson, AZ. Yikes!
By Susan Wilkins4 years ago in Confessions
Do narcissists set their children up for failure?
Yes, absolutely. However it is possible to overcome their abuse and succeed in your life despite the trauma. I'm a daughter of a narcissistic mother in a narcissistic family dynamic. My role in the family as a child, adolescent and young adult was the scapegoat. I was put in this position because I spoke the truth, was a precocious child, was gifted with strong perceptive skills and emotional maturity and empathy beyond my years. I was also emotionally strong and could endure the abuse heaped onto me. My younger sister being thin and attractive was and still is my mother’s golden child. She and my younger brother, who was tall and athletic, would take turns being the golden children.
By Faraz4 years ago in Confessions
My Grandson Said, "A lot of people in my family have birthdays on the 21st!"
When picking my grandson up from driver's education, we started talking about his older brother that was visiting from Alaska. I asked if his brother would be here until his birthday. He said, he thought he was leaving next week, which meant he wouldn't be here for his birthday in April.
By Denise E Lindquist4 years ago in Confessions
A Mothers Journey
From the moment as mothers when we realize we are forming a human life we feel so many emotions: feelings of uncertainty, love, worry and the biggest one, fear. Coming from a difficult upbringing the fear of inadequacy and "Will I be a good mother" often strikes a panic in me and then a flood of sobbing. Discipling a child, I'm always thinking "Will he hate me? Am I traumatizing him?" and often I hear the echoes of my mothers voice as I yell "No!" or "Don't do that!" I've gotten to points that I've deeply regretted out of frustration but the heart of a mother is always yearning to understand our children deeper, to love them more and in ways better than we even knew as children. It doesn't come from a place of wanting to be better than our parents (necessarily) but wanting to be the parent our children deserve.
By Jordan Sophia Thomas4 years ago in Confessions
He Saved Me
I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had been sick for a few weeks and thought I had a stomach bug. I finally decided to take a home pregnancy test and was beyond nervous waiting for the result. I was only 18 at the time, unemployed, and my boyfriend at the time was also unemployed and irresponsible. When the test processed and said I was pregnant my first thought was not a good one.
By Paige4 years ago in Confessions
Explaining Memes to my Dad. Top Story - March 2022.
I’ve written this essay already. I don’t mean this is a second draft, or that I have some kind of block that makes me keep restarting this. I mean this essay I have already researched, written, edited and sent out once before.
By Alex Brown4 years ago in Confessions
It started at age 15...
Imagine a life where at a young age, with such a young and innocent soul, you go from innocent teenager to teen mom. Fifteen years old, She found herself a mother to a baby girl. How it came about? So lost and misguided, with no one that cared or ever paid attention to her. She felt as if it were the only thing she could do to feel she had a purpose. She remembers wanting to feel wanted and important to someone so badly. It was all a cry for attention, but nobody paid attention. Thrown out on the streets with a newborn baby, in the middle of winter. Fifteen years old. Thats how much they cared about her. Where does she go from there? Forced to be emancipated by the government so she could be legally classified as an adult, she was able to reside at local shelters. No family, no friends, still no one who cared. There were shelter staff and counselors that were nice, of course but that couldn't fill the void. Her mother was in a relationship with a man that gave her the ultimatum of choosing him or her daughter and granddaughter. Her mother chose him. Her father had been out of the picture so after that she was completely on her own. She was thankful to have her daughter, she knew that she had someone who loved her and needed her. That made her feel better, sometimes. Fast forward a little, now it's getting a little hard. No help, no babysitter so she can work or go to school... what now? She was lucky enough to find kind-hearted managers willing to look out for a young girl with lots of responsibilties, some of them would let her bring her daughter to work with her. She stays persistent, though and never did she give up. Today, time hasn't changed much. Today, now 25 and now with 4 beautiful kids she doesn't let the way she was treated as a child affect her relationships with her own kids. Instead, it has inspired her to be everything her own parents were not. To love her kids and be there every step of the way. She still has goals and dreams, she is often caught in a daze thinking what life would be like if she didn't have kids so young. She was always so bright, and had a lot to look forward to. She hopes to finish school online, but it's hard to make time for that with 4 people screaming "Mommy". She is a great mother and she loves her kids, but she feels guilty for having them before having her life together. Having them before HER own life really even started. Fifteen years old. Had she known then what she knows now, life would be completely different. These tramatic events in her life did build a strong, brave, loving and independent woman/mother. And she loves that about herself. She used pain and turned it into power.
By Dymond Burruss4 years ago in Confessions
Fear and its reality
For years, people kept poking at me, speculating about my sexuality, and cracking cruel jokes. So, when I finally admitted I was engaged to another guy, it felt like I’d thrown a match into a gasoline-soaked room. The laughter faded fast, and fear stepped in, driving a wedge between me and my family. Suddenly, my private life was up for grabs, and I faced homophobia like I’d never experienced before, even from folks who’d promised they’d be cool with it.
By Christian Bass4 years ago in Confessions
Single Mom Chronicles
I have been a single mother since 2008. I became a double-time single mom in 2015. Two men left me alone to raise two daughters. My children are quite literally my world. I lost my identity when their dads decided to leave. As I write, my only identity is being a mother. I have no social life. I have no boyfriend. Taking care of my children consumes me. I have to work to make ends meet. I still fall short. It was (and still is) suggested that I get a second job. I continue to refuse. If I am always at a job, when will I see my children? When I am away, they miss me and I miss them.
By Latoya Giles 4 years ago in Confessions
Riding The Wave
In March 2012, I moved back home, convinced by my mother, she would help me, and my 2 kids find another apartment. Before I moved out of my apartment, we were already searching for apartments because I had already put my 30-day notice in. As time got close to my approximate move-out date, my mom says, "Why don't you and the kids just move in with me until we find a place". I did not want to go back, but I had already submitted my 30-day notice, so I said, "Ok mom, but I need my place for the things I'm working on." At the time I was trying to start my home daycare. I needed to have my place badly to build the things I believe in.
By Dominique Emanuel4 years ago in Confessions
