Humor

M.C. Hammerhead
Imagine meeting the love of your life. He's perfect. He's charming. He has great eyes, strong hands and is as gentle and loving as he is kind and strong. That's my husband! Bruce . Did you know the name Bruce means “ Be like water.” Well, okay, he was named after Bruce Lee . And he's about as dreamy as Bruce Lee was. In the daytime that is. He works all day with his huge group of buddies, as a marine biologist . He is what you would call a social butterfly, with fins instead of wings. . Does not know a stranger. And works until evening. He comes home and we eat . Every day we have to keep a very structured schedule. We have to have an alibi. It is not always easy but I married him for better or for worse. He also works part time as an Emcee . Hosting parties, wedding, birthdays , MMA, and wrestling events. But they have to be events that don't require him to stay too late. See my husband is wonderful. But he has a flaw. He leaves teeth. Shark teeth. Because that is what he is. And the longer he is left in his hunter mindset, the more he progresses to his spirit animal, the Hammerhead Shark.
By Layla Nelson5 years ago in Fiction
Death By Chocolate
By Betsy Kelberlau Jenny was not very coordinated as a child, nor as she got older. When she was a freshman in high school, she went with some friends to a roller skating rink. Jenny was roller skating with one of her friend’s Mom. This was her first time roller skating and she was very shaky. The Mom kept saying, hold on to me. Don’t let go. Hold on. Well, Jenny didn’t listen to her. And she went down. She caught herself with her right wrist. Oh, goodness. Boy, did it hurt. Jenny’s friend’s Mom felt so badly. Jenny said, well, it’s not your fault. You were telling me to hold on. And I didn’t listen to you.
By Betsy Kelberlau 5 years ago in Fiction
Hershey
When Hershey was a little girl, I decided one bright and early summer morning that I would teach her to swim. Growing up in a busy household, my parents always said to me that learning to swim was not only a necessity for personal safety, but for summer fun and trips to the lake with my Grandparents (and for the right of passage of being tossed from the family pontoon boat which they failed to mention until I was actually in the water - but I digress). With this knowledge in hand, I took it upon myself to teach my young puppy the skill that all noble young puppies should learn to do. But man, did it backfire.
By Maddie5 years ago in Fiction
'Rot On' Dates and Anaphylactic Ants
We've created myths in the western world, and some of them involve food. Take eggs for example. In the west, we refrigerate our eggs. while many countries in the world don't and they're still considered safe to eat.
By Tree Langdon5 years ago in Fiction
The Queen of Cakes
It was many years back in the land of France. Queen Marie ruled with a heavy heart and the mind of a true narcissist. But she always had desired more, mostly the finest desserts that only the world’s greatest culinary minds could serve her. However, each of these heads were soon disconnected from the rest of their bodies as they had failed to please her royal highness. From the most delectable vanilla cookies to the most beautiful strawberry bowls of ice cream, all expensive, all gorgeous, but all failures in the queen’s mind. But the one dessert that nobody could afford to serve her, her prime desire, chocolate cake from the rarest and amazing cocoa beans on the planet.
By Nathan Miller5 years ago in Fiction
The Ladybug Lady
The year was 2003. Pirates of the Caribbean had just released into the theaters. Many women on the planet were falling in love with Johnny Depp. There was a lady who was the jealous type. She also loved Johnny Depp. That was very dangerous to love an actor and also be the jealous type.
By Amanda and Carrie Boyed5 years ago in Fiction
Piece of Cake
“You can bake, right?” Rick looked over the desk towards the Chief, who looked far more concerned than he normally did in briefings. Of course, briefings were normally talking about targets, and reasons that they needed to either be killed or stopped from being killed, rather than straying into topics like culinary efforts. Rick gave a smile, trying to be reassuring.
By Chris Cunliffe5 years ago in Fiction
The Piece That Stole My Day
My name is Hector. Original, right? I'll save the back story for later, but basically I want some dessert! Sure, I'm a crumby guy, but it doesn't mean I don't like puns! What am I talking about? Anyway, you'll catch up.
By Nicholas Richardson5 years ago in Fiction
Bird-Nerd's Aren't Real
Karen’s phone rang while she was weeding her flowerbeds. “Let it go to voicemail,” she thought to herself as she pulled dandelions out from around the marigolds. After the third hangup, she grabbed it and stared down at an unknown number. Hitting the message icon, she grumbled, “Who the hell can that be?” Listened impatiently, a raspy voice cracked over the speaker, “This is Jim Henderson. John asked me to bring one of the pups over when they were ready. I’ll be stopping by in five minutes.” "I guess I should go find him," she muttered as she hung up the phone. Hearing the pouch door slam, she looked up and saw her three sons running from the house.
By Suzanne Bennett Mcelroy5 years ago in Fiction
A Piece of Cake
As I sat waiting on Mark to show I thought of all the pain I have been through the last year; the abuse, loosing a job, being broke, and feeling alone. I started a new job a few weeks ago and with the first paycheck I paid bills and with the little I had left I decided to come to a small Mexican restaurant to treat myself. I asked Mark if he would like to meet me there. He said, “Yes.”
By Ann5 years ago in Fiction
Chocolate Lovers
By: Brittany J. Delk It’s 4pm and I finally wake up from my second nap of the day. They don’t call it lazy Sundays for nothing.
By Brittany Delk5 years ago in Fiction
This One Takes the Cake
Life was strange. It was full of surprises. They often declared, “Expect the unexpected.” Karissa typically remained unfazed by the curveballs life occasionally threw her way, but nothing prepared her for the scene she found before her that day in her friend’s kitchen. Upon opening the door, the potently sweet scent of chocolate swam through the atmosphere, caressing her senses. It hung thick in the air. As soon as she crossed the threshold, she hit the heavy wall of the decadent aroma. She warily eyed the scene before her. There sat her friend, Serena, perched upon the granite counters next to a chocolate cake. She hummed merrily, legs crossed, in appreciation of her creation, eagerly anticipating the first bite.
By Jessica C.5 years ago in Fiction