The Goblin

Mr. Moore finished roll call and signaled to the bus driver to go. The bus started to move. Doug Barnes slipped on his head phones and turned on his Walkman. The year was 1998. He shut his eyes and got lost in the rock music playing in his ear phones. The bus hit a pothole and jostled everyone temporarily. Doug grumbled under his breath. If there was one thing Doug could not stand it was a long bus ride. This particular bus ride was going to last two hours.

This was the eighth-grade class trip to Dark Woods. No parents or pain in the ass little sister for asshole week. Doug would be able to goof around and hang out with his friends. He knew Mr. Moore would turn certain situations into teachable moments. This was after all a class field trip. However, he thought he was hot shit. He was an eighth-grader. Yes, the sixth-graders ha their two-day class trip, But only the eighth-graders got to go on a week-long trip. It was all the kids talked about prior to the trip.

When the students got home on Saturday, the following Monday was the beginning of Spring Break. That meant two weeks of no class in March. Doug was not a fan of academia; school was long and boring. Martin pressed his lips against the palms of his hands and made a fart sound. The students laughed.

“Let’s keep it school appropriate please,” Mr. Moore said.

“But we’re not in school,” Martin insisted.

“The same rules of etiquette still apply,” Mr. Moore replied. Martin rolled his eyes but knew there was no point in arguing. He sat down in his seat.

Chris Wright, Doug’s best friend tapped Doug on the shoulder. Doug removed his head phones giving his friend his individual attention.

“Yes?” Doug said.

“Did you know there is a goblin that lives in the woods?” Chris asked.

Doug groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Knock it off; will you?” he pleaded.

“I’m telling you the truth,” Chris said. “My brother saw him two years ago on his 8th grade trip.

“What did he look like?” Doug asked.

“It had green skin, a pointy chin, a tail, and sharp teeth,” Chris replied.

“A typical goblin, of course,” Doug responded. “Just your run of the mill, garden variety goblin.”

“Just wait man,” Chris said. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

“You’re always making up stories,” Courtney Webber said.

“You eaves dropping?” Chris said with an ornery smile. She rolled her eyes.

“I’m sitting in the next seat over,” she said. “I can’t help but hear you.” Doug and Courtney locked eyes with one another for a moment and she rolled her eyes and smiled; Doug smiled back. He felt his heart flutter. She had never smiled at him like that before.

“Does this mean something?” Doug thought. “No, she’s just being nice.”

They arrived and everyone rushed off the bus. Mr. Moore gathered the class up and handed each kid a schedule for the week.

“We will not deviate from this schedule,” Mr. Moore insisted. “Familiarize yourself with it.”

Martin stood up and saluted.

“Ay, Ay, Sir,” Martin said.

“Are we going to have to put up with this for an entire week?” Courtney groaned.

“Shut up,” Martin shot back. Mr. Moore rubbed the throbbing vein in his forehead.

“I’m not dealing with this for a whole week,” he said. “I’m going to send you kids back to school. You are eight graders; act like it!” Martin and Courtney exchanged a look. They had never seen Mr. Moore so worked up. They acquiesced; they ventured into the woods.

Mr. Moore set up camp. There were twelve kids and seven tents. The kids paired up and Mr. Moore was the only person with his own tent. Chris and Doug bunked together and Courtney and her best friend Julie Ackerman shared a tent. They went on a hike and that took the kids to lunch time. Then later on a cozy campfire capped off the night. The stars twinkled under a yellow sliver of moon. The class roasted marshmallows.

“Did you guys know the goblin is nearby?” Chris asked. Everyone groaned.

“Give us a break,” Julie groaned.

“We are telling ghost stories,” Mr. Moore said. “Let’s allow Chris to continue.” This seemed to fill Chris with confidence. He stuck his chest out and he continued speaking.

“Do you all smell garlic?” Chris asked. Everyone took a collective sniff.

Everyone acknowledged the scent.

“The goblin eats a lot of garlic,” Chris said.

“I’ve set a trap for your little goblin friend,” Mr. Moore said. “Your brother was convinced he saw the goblin, you seem to believe it, and so I set a trap.

The next day everyone emerged from their tents and they saw the goblin hanging up! Ensnared in a net, Mr. Moore stared up at the green creature who nibbled and clawed at the net.

“Your brother was right,” Mr. Moore said. “There really was a goblin in these woods.”

A couple of weeks later Doug walked into the classroom and saw the goblin sitting by Mr. Moore’s desk. Doug’s eyebrow raised. No one else seemed to care.

“What’s the goblin doing here?” Doug asked. Mr. Moore looked over at the green critter.

“I thought he would make an adorable class mascot,” Mr. Moore replied. He looked over at the creature again. Doug shrugged and took his seat. Class began. The goblin walked around the classroom for about thirty minutes into the class. He approached Doug’s desk. He reached out to pet the little critter atop its bald head. The goblin purred like a cat and shook its leg like a dog. It continued making its rounds. By the end of the week all the kids had gotten used to him. He brought a smile to all their faces. The students would smile and take turns petting him. The students would smile and take turns petting him. On Friday there was a raffle to see who would take the goblin home for the weekend. Mr. Moore put all the names into a hat and drew out of it.

“Doug is the winner,” Mr. Moore said. Doug’s eyes widened.

“Holy crap!” Doug thought.

The final school bell rang and Doug brought the goblin home and into the living room. His dad was watching golf in the living room.

“What the heck is that thing?” Dad asked.

“It’s our class mascot,” Doug answered him. Dad’s eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, but what is it?” Dad asked.

“It’s a goblin,” Doug said.

“Are you messing with me?” Dad asked. Doug shook his head.

“Of course not.”

“Is he house broken?” Dad asked.

“Yes,” Doug said.

Dad nodded.

“What does he eat?” Dad wanted to know. Doug pulled out a bag.

“He eats these pellets.” The goblin spent the rest of the afternoon running around the yard.

At dinner time the goblin slept on the sofa. He gently snored wheezily. Tara Doug’s little sister, kept looking in on the creature as it slept. Tara looked nervous; Mom noticed this and addressed her daughter’s concerns.

“Relax darling,” Mom said. “He’s totally harmless.” So, Tara continued eating, but she kept stealing glances at the sleeping goblin. After dinner Doug and Tara washed the dishes together. After the dishes the goblin was up and active. He jumped on Doug’s back and he gave the critter a piggy back ride. Tara chuckled. The critter gave happy little chortles.

The goblin hopped off of Doug’s back and ran into Tara’s bedroom. He sat at the table in her room. She saw him sitting at the table like a little gentleman.

“Did you want to have a tea party?” Tara asked. The goblin went over to her costume chest and pulled out a monocle, a mustache, and a top hat. He put on all three items. He sat down at the table and pretended to be very posh. Tara picked up the teapot.

“Would you like some tea?” Mr. Goblin. He looked down at the cup and lifted it in the air. She poured the invisible liquid into the cup. He pretended to drink. He let out a raspy noise.

“Good,” the word sounded like.

Doug stood in the doorway folding his arms across his chest.

“Having fun?” he asked.

“Do you want to join us?” Tara invited him.

“Well, I…” Doug began. He noticed she was giving him the puppy dog eyes. Doug let out a sigh. The goblin mimicked her. Now two sets of puppy dog eyes stared at him. Doug let out another gentle sigh and sat down at the table.

“Would you like some tea?” Tara asked. He picked up his cup and allowed his sister to pour him some imaginary tea. “Ewe it’s warm,” he mocked protesting. Tara threw an invisible ice cube in the cup. He eyed the cup.

“Just one ice cube?” Doug teased. Tara placed her hand on her hip.

“It’s a small cup,” she said. He shrugged and took another sip.

“It’s acceptable,” Doug said.

“Anything else your royal highness?” Tara said sarcastically.

“A foot rub,” Doug answered.

“We don’t do that here; we’re not a massage parlor sir.” Doug smiled at that.

Mom entered. Chris stood next to her.

“Your friend is here,” Mom said. Tara looked at Chris.

“Do you want to join our tea party?” Chris looked over at Doug and Doug nodded.

“Sure,” Chris said. Mom smiled and left the room. Tara poured some imaginary tea and Chris took a sip and then he rubbed his stomach.

“That’s good tea,” Chris said.

“It’s not too hot?” Tara asked.

“No. It’s the perfect temperature,” Chris reassured Tara. She looked over at Doug.

“See? He doesn’t think the tea is too hot,” Tara said.

“Well, it cooled down by the time Chris got here,” Doug replied. Now she stomped her foot.

“You’re impossible!” she said angrily.

The goblin stood up, went over to Chris, and started running his fingers through Chris’ hair.

“What’s it doing?” Chris asked.

“I think it’s grooming you like a monkey,” Doug replied.

“That’s as cute as it is freaky,” Chris said. That night, the goblin slept at the foot of Tara’s bed.

That Monday Tara gave the goblin a tearful goodbye hug.

“How did you enjoy your weekend with the class mascot? Mr. Moore asked.

“It was fine,” Doug said. “My little sister got attached to him.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll get your name drawn again,” Mr. Moore said.

“I’m sure you’re right,” Doug said.