satire

Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.

10 Reasons Vampires Make the Best Boyfriends
If you’ve ever thought about trading in your ordinary human boyfriend for that super hot and sexy vampire that you’re sure lives in the house down your street, you know, the one with the blacked out windows where no one is ever seen going in or out until dusk (except for their human servant), here’s all the reasons you need:
By Helen S4 years ago in Humans
For Forty-Nine Years I’ve Had the Reaper Breathing Down the Back of My Neck
1st February 1973 Mr. Morrigan We are pleased to inform you that the department of Scythes and Reaping has accepted your application for the position of Grim Reaper. Your robes and scythe will be couriered.
By Sandi Parsons4 years ago in Humans
Ready Salted
“Keep it simple stupid,” my inner monologue repeats for the third time since entering the shop. I swear it’s getting harder each time. Today it’s so bad I’m not even sure I want to be here let alone what I want. That’s always been the trick though, hasn’t it? Knowing what you actually want. “You can do anything you set your mind to.” Absolute killer advice for those of us past our prime and still not a scooby who, what, or where that “anything” is. I got a PHD in applied linguistics and still spent the last 2 minutes playing anxious visual ping pong between the Monster Munch and the McCoy’s.
By Fred Tschepp4 years ago in Humans
Would You Take Dating Advice from Nicolas Cage?
Nicolas Cage: The King of Giving Dating Advice Many moons ago, I wrote an article about what if Nicolas Cage had his own dating advice column. I thought it was a maddening and wonderful idea — like if a leviathan could be trained to do ballet or a behemoth taught how to drive a spaceship.
By Andrea Lawrence4 years ago in Humans
"Hamilton" at the Hollywood Pantages Theater is the Musical Worth Catching Covid For ... Right?
In 2020, the world fell ill due to the deadly virus which has been responsible for the death of millions of people around the world. Of course I'm talking about the COVID-19 virus which was first documented in China. Soon, it would invade every country on this planet and bring fear to all people, and for the first time in just over a century, create a pandemic that affected all of humankind.
By Thomas G Robinson4 years ago in Humans
The Seven Types of Cold
As a Canadian, I am often asked, “Why?” This question, of course, confuses me until I realize that the person who poses it wants a clear answer about the weather. Over the last week, winter has asserted itself in my adopted hometown of Hampstead, Quebec (a Montreal suburb with more quiet than I deserve). Ice is now hidden under a dusting of snow, and it is very hard to take a step without the feeling that you are about to connect to pavement and asphalt in a very painful and intimate way. I do understand why the question exists.
By Kendall Defoe 4 years ago in Humans
No American Idol...
Hi there. Kent Brindley; writer by trade, kind-of-sort-of "vocalist" for fun, jani... LOCK-ER ROOM A-TTEN-DANT by profession, and humorist by my own delusions.
By Kent Brindley4 years ago in Humans
Truth and Falsehood
One day, Truth and Falsehood went for a swim in the lake. While Truth had her attention elsewhere, Falsehood snuck back onto the shore and changed into Truth's clothes.
By Ian Coleman4 years ago in Humans
The I'm Sorry But
Is there anything more disingenuous or less sincere then the “I’m sorry but?” What other four words (three I guess if you consider the contraction “I’m” a single word) allow one to pretend to apologize while at the same time providing the perfect segue for a lecture explaining why one does not actually need to. In fact, in many cases the “I’m sorry buttee” is in for an educating discourse on why they should be the one apologizing. Can we please, as a collective unit of humanity, agree to stop saying this? If I might suggest an alternative, simply withhold the apology until such time as one is actually sorry, and then proceed to apologize in a sincere and meaningful fashion. Save the explanations and caveats for a later date or never. If one is not actually sorry, that is OK too, simply refrain from apologizing as described in the previous sentence. That is all.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Humans
The Reincarnation of an Endangered Species
A series of strident ‘Shudd-Ups’ echoed through the valley, and the gaggle of conversation amidst the attending delegates slumped into a murmuring buzz, before petering out into silence.
By Denis Joseph4 years ago in Humans
Dear Santa, I Really Need a New Laptop and a Few Other Things This Year…
Dear Santa, Yeah, I’m like 30 years too old to probably have this letter approved, but, seriously, I broke my laptop’s keyboard last year and still haven’t gotten it fixed (Ok, Ok, sure, I got a new keyboard to plug in, but underneath that neon-lit keyboard is a keyboard that still can’t type the letter “m”).
By Gregory D. Welch4 years ago in Humans
Lift Up Your Writing With the Power of Redundancy
The Most Redundant Words to Delete From Your Writing The consensus of opinion these days seems to be that redundancy in writing is bad. While it may be the general consensus it is not an absolute certainty that this is the case. In fact it might possibly be the case that redundancies are more superior to other methods of emphasis when it comes to getting and keeping your readers attention, despite what Random House copy chief Benjamin Dreyer says in the above linked piece.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Humans