humor

Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?

How Looking for a New Job Feels Like Looking for Love
Looking for a new job is like dating. For some people, dating and searching for jobs is an exciting enterprise. For me, both are tedious and soul-crushing. Whichever kind of person you are, it’s easy to see the parallels between searching for a new job or a new partner.
By Mimi Sonner8 years ago in Journal
Minority of eBay
This is my first post on here, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Sam and I sell on eBay. I always write things down, but no one ever sees it. So, I've come on here. People may never see it still but I feel like it's got a bigger audience opportunity than my bedside table drawer!
By Sam Dodd8 years ago in Journal
Why Poor People Party Properly - My Own Private Poverty - Rich Versus Poor
Sometimes, I find that I love my own poverty too much, and it never fails to fill me with shame. No-one can take away my ability to end up with nothing. I work, I’m poor. I claimed benefits, I’m poor, I’ve broken the law and I still ended up poor. I’ve been poorer. Homeless at times, if you don’t count living on sofas as a housed situation. It is though. Our sofa surfers, in the United Kingdom, are kept from the streets by the kindness of beautiful souls.
By Johnny Vedmore8 years ago in Journal
The Customer Is Always Right...?
I work at a cashier at Wendy's in an airport, which means I work a lot with customers. Which also means, I hear a lot of stupid questions. Stupid customer questions always make me laugh and give my friends a bit of a laugh too. So to spread the joy, here is a compiled list of my favorite stupid questions.
By Sarah8 years ago in Journal
Dear Customer.... Top Story - April 2018.
Dear Customer, I’m sorry, but I don’t wish to smell your shoe. Let it be known that if you tell me that your shoe smells, I will always take your good word for it. I understand that you managed to get the shoes wet whilst walking in the rain, and now sadly one of the shoes has an unpleasant smell. I also understand, that because only one shoe has become foul smelling, and not both, you are now questioning whether there is a fault with the shoes? Let me explain, rain is a damp liquid that often falls from the sky, like magic. The shoes you bought are not made out of bread, but of a fabric material that is not waterproof. Therefore, if you go out wearing the shoes in all the damp rain, there is a high likelihood that they will get wet. This could also contribute to the smelly state we now find you in. Or it could be a foot-related medical issue, to which I can offer no advice, as surprisingly I am not a fully qualified doctor who prefers to sell discount outdoor clothing. Sadly, I cannot offer you any refund on the item at this point, as getting your money back on an item you bought a year ago, with no proof of purchase, because you made half of it smell, is not a thing.
By B H M8 years ago in Journal
The Blogging Express—Next Stop: Procrastination Station
I often find myself weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of blogging. On the one hand, writing on a regular basis and being able to provide examples of your work is important if you wish to pursue a job or career in which writing is a key element.
By Siôn Stedman8 years ago in Journal
Job Hunting and Why I Hate It So
There are two things in this world, that I loathe and despise perhaps more than any other things. One of them is searching for a new place to live. Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I won't have to deal with that again for a long long time.
By Pete Sears8 years ago in Journal
Retail
Let's face it, if you have ever worked in retail, you know that you are going to face some challenges and some weird characters. This is a list that I've compiled of real life situations that life in a retail store has put us through.
By Kaitlyn Parker8 years ago in Journal
The Top 9 Best Excuses for the Absentee Client. Top Story - February 2018.
Wake up 5 AM sharp, your carefully macro balanced breakfast has been polished off, your meals for the day are prepped. On the way to work you pick up your Double Shot Starbucks already waiting, slotted perfectly into the cardboard sleeve and your favourite non de clurme (because your real name is far too boring) scrawled accross its anodyne corporate surface.
By Paul Yates8 years ago in Journal
McKetchup
Everyone should work at McDonald's. Once upon a hot summer day, many a weary traveler sought refuge in that main street McDonald's nestled humbly in a hill of green. There, they could be anointed in a shower of such luxurious and affordable items like our internationally desired, smooth silky ice cream, savory, twice blessed burgers received exclusively from happily willing cows, and golden fried slivers of God's vegetable.
By Alexander Ender8 years ago in Journal
The Retail Rant
So, since the age of sixteen, I have had various roles in retail. My, how things change. Back in those days, customer satisfaction seemed the epitome of my role. Making sure that my customers had access to everything they needed at all times, always being available to help when they needed it.
By Dawn Elizabeth8 years ago in Journal
Hotel Funnies: The Confused American Part 1
Vancouver, BC (Canada) attracts thousands of tourists every year, especially in the summer when the weather is beautifully mild, the mountains are snow free, and the ocean...is still cold. Being a port city means there are ample cruise ships, the most popular being a route to Alaska and back.
By Rubika N8 years ago in Journal