humor

Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?

Things Went A Weee Bit Beyond Ugly Long Time Ago
For the attention of ALL relevant persons: Be advised that effective immediately, I tender my comprehensive resignation regarding the following bathroom duty/task/necessity henceforth to be claused:-
By The Dani Writer10 months ago in Journal
I quit you pompus ass. Content Warning.
To Mr. Smiras I quit, you pompous, narcissistic ass. I heard from HR that you were going to fire 500 people, and I was one of them, so I’m quitting first. I was your best scientist and project manager, now who are you going to make lead scientist? Mel? The only thing he came up with is a pill that makes you puke…oh and that week he took off, he used it so he could go to Hawaii.
By Robert Kegel10 months ago in Journal
The Last Load
Dear Laundry- We've had a good run, but I'm afraid it's time we part ways. The truth is, this job has become a nearly impossible, endless task and, while I appreciate the job security, I need to find more balance in life. I can't continue to plan weekend events around swapping loads. You've over taken everything and I just need to do something else with my precious time.
By A. J. Schoenfeld10 months ago in Journal
I Resign...
I've just sat done and I'm bone weary, literally, my bones hurt, I'm so tired, but you paw quietly at the closed glass door, and give a plaintive meow, somehow sounding as helpless as a newborn. You blink at me through the glass, pretending you don't know you could just walk around and through the living room to get to the kitchen.
By kateresa10 months ago in Journal
Fur & Fury: Why I Resigned from Kevin McTabbins Enterprises . Runner-Up in I Resign From… Challenge.
To: Mr. Kevin McTabbins CEO & Founder McTabbins Enterprises, Inc. Subject line: Notice of Resignation and Exit Reflections
By JL Daly10 months ago in Journal
Hostess Cupcake Motherf*ckers
When I was in college—lo, nearly twenty-seven, twenty-eight years ago maybe—I shared a dorm room with a big Black dude with dreadlocks who smoked a lot of grass. Dude was cool to me though, man. We used to have a good laugh at our lily-white, bourgeois fellow students and their often sanctimonious and totally naive worldview, which usually amounted to wearing their sanctimonious, woke—or whatever you call it these days—hearts on their designer sleeves.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Journal
Subject: Letter of Resignation
Dear Sir/Madam/Grief Department Head/Whoever Keeps the Ledger of the Living and the Lost, Please consider this my formal resignation.
By E. C. Mira10 months ago in Journal
No Longer Your BBQ Man
OK y'all. I am officially resigning. Being your BBQ go-to New Year's Day party man has been a pleasure all these years, but I am formally resigning from this role.
By Andrea Corwin 10 months ago in Journal
Dear Family
James Rizzi In-house Expert TO: [email protected] EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: I am writing to formally inform you that I am resigning from my position as an in-house expert. Through the years I have acquired an assortment of speculatory acquisitions. These acquisitions would see me as the family go-to representative for a plethora of questions in a selective number of expertise. However, by no means am I qualified or knowledgeable enough to answer any of the asked-about subjects. Below I have listed the particular expertise that I plan to relinquish with feedback included for the sake of future working conditions, or for new potential employees (most likely my brother).
By James U. Rizzi10 months ago in Journal
I Resign, Mr. President
Dear Mr. President, I resign. No, you don't get to use your huffy red face at me and say that I can't resign because you are firing me. I SAID IT FIRST. I resign. Your budget decisions are going to ruin EVERYTHING I worked so hard on. You wanted savings, and we got you savings. Now your Big Boob Bill is undoing it all.
By Andrea Corwin 10 months ago in Journal
Unclipping My Wings:
Subject: Immediate Resignation from the Role of Self-Skeptic Inner Saboteur To: Internal Committee of Overthinkers and Regret Managers
By Mingling with the Moon 10 months ago in Journal
I'm Just Lazy
To Society At Large: I'm throwing in the towel. I'm cashing in my chips. I'm letting the proverbial cat out of the proverbial bag. I'm finally just owning it: I’m an overall lazy person.
By Raistlin Allen10 months ago in Journal