Humans Live Two Lives

In my culture, they say we live two lives. One when we are young and the other when we are old.

I began a study of myself to find out how I live two lives. And I found it.

I wasn’t born from love, but somehow, love found me. As a child, I would cry if I saw anyone sad, crying, or in pain. I would be sorry for Satan and help him if he asked me. Children in pain and with problems have been drawn to me since I was a child, and I had to help. That habit followed me into adulthood. I was unaware that I was feeling their pain.

I was very aware, too, of the actions, choices, and decisions of my mother and both adults and children around me, with adult understanding. I knew the value of love and kindness early. I also knew and understood cruelty and pain. I understood life, living, and knew my world too young.

My heart was too soft. I fought life with a soft heart, allowing everyone to walk all over me, setting no boundaries or limits with my generosity. I gave from an empty cup many times. My heart just won’t allow me to do anything to harm anyone, even though they hang me many times. I sacrificed myself often for people who put knives in my back, seconds after helping them.

I got into a lot of trouble for being kind. Endured a lot of pain and lost a lot, too.

I hit fifty, and everything changed. It was like I was asleep and woke up as a different person. Life and pain demand that I set boundaries and limits, using common sense and wisdom as tools to handle kindness. Or I would end up with nothing, thanks to the humans in my life who have no conscience.

My husband is kind, but he sets limits and boundaries. He stood his ground, and no one dared walk over him. Knowing him for more than forty years, no one has taken him for a fool or has taken advantage of his kindness. If they do, it’s never repeated. He takes no nonsense from anyone.

Hitting fifty, he became me, and I became him. I extended my study to others in our age group, and their personalities and lives changed, too. I know a female who bullied everyone; after fifty, her heart softened. She became kinder and stopped defending herself. She defends no wrongs or rights and stopped living as she knew. She opened her heart, and everyone came and took what they wanted, and she allowed them.

I studied several males, too, both of whom were kind and strict. They, too, switched personalities and lives. The strict rules are slackened. The kind heart became cautious of what humanity was doing to him and set better examples in his life. He became stronger, more assertive, and more confident, and he demanded respect.

The changes are noticed in their lives by families, friends, and the community. Everyone has their own reasons and causes for these changes. Some linked it to age-related health issues.

Going deeper, their jobs or education add a little to the change, but how they live and think add the most.

I am stronger and more assertive, and I use common sense and wisdom to set boundaries and limits for kindness. I can’t stop being kind, but no one is going to mistake my generosity for stupidity anymore. I am confident, strong in my defense, and no longer afraid to stand up for myself. What I lived and endured when I was young, I don’t want it to continue when I am old. Life and pain became my teacher and showed what could and will happen if I allow hell in. I want fewer problems, fewer things to worry about. That means fewer people. The right people, too.

The more thoughtless people in my life, the more problems I will have. I am forgetting things, so fewer people, fewer problems, less stress, better me. Healthier me too. I can focus on the most important things, as aging is limiting my capacity, and I will be doing less.

With fewer problems, my brain wouldn’t be overwhelmed, and my life would be able to go how I want it to. I can also see what’s in front of me and make better life decisions.

Aging slows down many things in our lives, giving us a choice to live better. It’s how we live that will determine that. I changed and started living a different life from the one I lived when I was young.

We had a lot to learn from our past, which allows us to make better decisions in the present.

Damn, I am living a better life in my old age than when I was younger. Lol.

They were right. The life many of us are living now is different from the one we had when we were young. Sadly, the lifestyle changes associated with aging don’t go well for all of us. It worsens some lives, and their health problems are some of its causes.

Change is good, but how you live will help to determine that.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.