A Lesson in Love

What is love?

Some would call it a gift from above

Meant for you and another

To enjoy each other’s lives

As they fit like a glove

Some would describe it as an insatiable lust

A want, a need, a JUST

desire to have some…. thing.

Some…. one.

Another’s use of the word could refer

To the LOVE they feel, for the solitude they prefer.

Their love for seclusion, met by jeers from their peers

Who don’t understand that person

for whom silence is loving music to their ears

A bookworm would say

That they LOVE a good book

With great characters, arcs,

Romances, and all that gobbledygook

So, what about me?

What do I think about love

and the things that it takes?

Well One thing love means to me is…

Pancakes!

Funny thing that.

I’m not just talking about food

I’m talking about my cat <3

Of course, I also have a love for the food.

That’s why I’m so fat 🙂

I can also say I’ve felt the kind of love

We all love to feel

From the people around us

That reminds us that any kind of love is real

They say,

It’s better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

But what about if that love you lost

Was also the cause of your downfall?

What if the feelings you felt at first

Were simply the calm before the storm

Before the bad became the worst

And all you knew was scorn?

Is it then better to have never loved at all?

So many of us have made LOVELY mistakes

Like falling in LOVE after first dates

Only to end up with LOVING heartbreaks

Then swear to yourself that you’ll do what it takes

To avoid all the tools, and the fakes, and the snakes

And finally, after all of the aches,

You’ll find the one that takes the cake

Then die together or whatever.

Unfortunately, love isn’t always a fairytale

It’s not exactly black and white

It’s going to be natural to make mistakes

Especially the ones that aren’t in plain sight

So here’s a little lesson in love

Most people probably don’t want to hear,

So strap yourselves in, and grab yourselves a beer.

Some of those feelings of love that you hold dear

CAN be as temporary as anger, and just disappear

Because love is a chemical reaction inside our brains

It infatuates, stupifies, and entertains

notions of claiming other people to be our domains

Our property, almost….

These chemicals can make you possessive

And jealous, and vengeful

Even a little bit dumb.

But it’s incredibly important not to succumb

To the fairytale stories

You’ve heard since you were young…

Humans are complex creatures

With complex experiences

That shape and mold our

Commonalities and differences

This notion that a “soulmate”

Is just waiting to be found

Can be a notion that can

Turn your brain into a battleground

Wondering why that “perfect other”

That other “you” that came from another mother

Hasn’t bothered to show up in your life.

If you spend all your effort

Searching for flaws

And declaring a once “soulmate”

Now just a lost cause

Instead of celebrating their differences

With mental applause

Then I’d offer a suggestion

To just give yourself pause

Lest you continue grasping at straws...

A “soulmate” is just a sanguine concept

A hopeful idea

And nothing more...

And while we’re on the topic…

Here’s a bonus lesson

Intended to make you think,

This one might hit pretty hard though,

So grab yourselves another drink.

In case you weren’t aware,

Every human deserves autonomy

Be it bodily or sexual

Free from forced monogamy

Marriage was a concept

From thousands of years ago

Meant to trade off your daughters

To help keep your livestocks in tow

The women, of course, had absolutely no say,

As it was a way to keep their sexual autonomy at bay

While the man surrounded himself with more wives every day

But maybe you can say we’ve come a long way?

Maybe… but not much?

Marriage is still often used as a pact

To keep two people from participating in sexual contact

With anyone outside their society-forced contract.

So why do we as human beings

That enjoy LOVE and all it brings

Try so hard to force love

Into a pair of wedding rings...

Society somehow convinced so many of us

That real love is looking someone in the eye

And telling them

“You’re only allowed to LOVE and have sex with me

For the rest of your life, otherwise we simply can’t be.

That's how you know it’s real love, you see.”

It’s ridiculous.

How about we just let each other be?

If we enjoy the company of others

Mutually,

Then enjoy the company and love

Without resorting to greed

There’s plenty of love to spare in the world.

It’s a world full of sexual experiences and emotions, unfurled

And if you decide to limit YOURSELF

To just place every beautiful body, and gender, and sex on a shelf

For the sake of an arbitrary marriage contract, that objectively

Is nothing more than a contract to share taxes, itself,

You might be leaving a world of love

You’ll never be able to know

Because of forced societal expectations

That convinced you not to show

That you can rise above the jealousy

And pettiness and possessiveness.

And show the people that you love

That you’re willing to love them enough to let them live.

If we could all just elect to give each other that respect,

Imagine the endless love

That would reflect

In those that feel a disconnect

Or often feel societal neglect

For not being as perfect as societal expectations expect

Love is…

A lot of things.

And we know that many of us thrive

The more we get this feeling of love that we love to feel in our lives.

That brings me to one last bit of advice:

Take it from this polyamorous, pansexual

Who only now can call himself as such

because he challenged his experiences

And grew into a person that loves individuality very much

In the exact same way my life and love evolved

Both are better when you exclude the jealousy

And more pancakes and people are involved

<3