disorder

The spectrum of Mental Health disorders is incredibly vast; we showcase the multitude of conditions that affect mood, thinking and behavior.

Locked inside my head
It was another day in the life of a “normal” teenager. I put normal in quotations because what even is normal. I guess you could say I was a typical teenager. It was the summer after high school graduation. I was still trying to decide if college was for me or what I was going to do with my life. I visited a local community college to see what my options were. After that I was in route to see my girlfriend at the time and bring her some lunch. Earlier this day we had a fight and I wanted to make it up to her. Anyways, I was driving along and started to feel extremely paranoid. I started having intrusive thoughts that someone was following me. I pulled over into a gas station and the thoughts began to sound like voices. Voices asking for help inside the gas station. Then I heard what I thought was god or someone telling me to go inside the gas station and help these people. I went inside and asked who needed help and the people inside looked at me sideways. Like I was crazy for lack of a better term. I started panicking and went back to my car. The tears came and my breathing quickened. I was having a panic attack for the first time ever in my life. I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time so I called my mom to ask her for help. I believed I was having a heart attack or something and was dying. I told her about the voices and that god was talking to me. She told me to stay put and she was coming to get me. While on the phone with her a man walked up to my window waving money at me. I think he thought I was in trouble and needed it. Thinking about it now I wish I could thank that man. But I was too manic to even recognize his generosity. My mom arrived and transported me to a place called the stress center. Once I got there things become a lot fuzzier so the details are blurry. I’m going to try my best to describe my experience. The man that questioned me at the stress center was a big man with a deep voice. I truly believed he was god and he was testing me. Very scary delusion, thinking I’m sitting across from god. After our discussion they admitted me into the actual hospital on the psych floor. They ran so many tests to figure out why this was happening. From my point of view it felt like I had died and gone to hell. I was seeing and hearing many different scary things. I saw shadows and demon faces in my hospital window. At one point I thought the devil was in the room with me. The tv was sending me messages on how to get out of this hell. I started reading the Bible and praying. So many different insane thoughts went through my mind. It’s like I was locked in this alternate reality. Ultimately I lost touch with reality and became a completely different person. I’m sure my loved ones would agree with that. Their experience of the whole matter is completely different than mine. I’d like to interview them and get their point of view one day. The reason I’m telling this story is to put it out there for others to relate to and possibly educate others on what it’s like for me to experience psychosis. Which is what was happening to me. This was just the first psychotic episode I’ve had. All together I’ve had 3 episodes. Back to the story. After a week in the hospital I was put in the inpatient unit of the stress center. I spent a couple weeks there recovering and getting back to myself. It took a while to recover and my brain was never the same after that traumatic episode. At this point the doctors still didn’t know what was wrong with me. But this was the first sign of my bipolar. At the beginning we all believed it was a one time thing caused by stress and my drug usage. Sorry if this didn’t make any sense. Hopefully you learned something or related in some way. Life was never the same after this. This disorder for me is debilitating. Every person with bipolar disorder has a different experience. If you made it this far thank you for reading and reach out to me with any questions you may have. I’m not the best writer so please excuse any mistakes I made. Also I’m always here as support for anyone struggling with mental illness or just life in general.
By Lindsey Weber6 years ago in Psyche
Does the Weather Affect Your Mood?
Winter is here, and we all know what that means! Shorter days, longer nights, and colder weather. For many of us this is our least favourite time of year, except you know.. the holidays!! But for some of us the winter weather affects our moods and lifestyle.
By Miranda Kukavica-Wilson6 years ago in Psyche
Getting Rid of SAD
I love the summer. I love the hot weather, I love the smell of freshly cut grass and the smell of sunscreen, those are the small things that I love about it. The thing that I love most is how I feel during the summer months; I feel happy and ready to go anywhere and do anything as long as it is outside and I am enjoying the warm weather. Then winter comes. The snow covers the trees and grass is no longer visible. It gets cold and warming up by the fire with a mug filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows. Christmas comes and everyone strings there houses with lights that fill me with joy. However, most days I do not feel like going anywhere or doing anything. I just want to curl up in a blanket and not see anyone for weeks or just read my book, play a video game and be left alone. This is what is called seasonal affective disorder, you only feel down during the winter days. However, some of you may wonder what is seasonal affective disorder? well, let me summarize it. "It is a type of depression that is related to the seasons". It happens mostly because of the lack of vitamin D that a person is taking in. For people who love skiing and doing snow sports, it does not happen very often because they are outside getting that vitamin D and enjoying a fun activity. Since the city I live in is known for the sunny weather many people are diagnosed with the seasonal depression. However, the seasonal depression can also take place during summer, but that happens in very rare cases.
By Ada Zuba6 years ago in Psyche
Borderline Personality Hell
For 21 years I’ve struggled to express my emotion in a calm and collected way, I began writing my thoughts down and sending them to my family and friends so for once they could understand a little into what’s going on in my head. For those who live with bpd this isn’t a story on how I turned my life around and become in control, so if you’re needing an inspiring story or some reassurance this is not for you. This is to express the pain, anger and confusion people with bpd feel every single day with every choice they make, from choosing what to wear to making plans with a friend, decision making is hard and not as easygoing as we once thought.
By Sheridan Taylor6 years ago in Psyche
Disassociating
For those of you who don't know much about me, or don't know who I am at all, I would tell you but I can't promise you that I truly even know who I am myself. One thing that I do know for sure is that I do a lot of disassociating - disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity. This agonizing mental disorder consumes my life.
By Samantha Brinker6 years ago in Psyche
The Self-Inflicted Shame of 'Quiet' Borderline Personality Disorder
Shame is part of my daily life. You see, I am what they call a “quiet” borderline. I admit, it sounds a little on the creepy side, but I can assure you there’s nothing lighthearted about it.
By Kyle Alexander6 years ago in Psyche
Living on the Borderline — An intro to Borderline Personality Disorder
I have felt so incredibly alone in this world, I feel like someone has to tell my story or it will get lost and let’s face it, no one else is going to! I hope to regain some control and to hopefully help others understand more what it is like to live with an illness that never really relents. It is with me 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and quite simply it is exhausting.
By Kyle Alexander6 years ago in Psyche
My First Illness
Growing up as a kid I was never slim but I was never really "fat" or "big". The memory that sticks with me is the one of me playing with my friends as if we were in the Disney Movie of Hercules. We would pick different characters to play and the next day we would rotate them. The kids would always assign me one of the Muses.. You know? The ones that narrates the story while singing every now and then... Well, I was "the fat one" according to my friends.
By Val Enriquez6 years ago in Psyche
Sleep Paralysis: The Demon in Your Bedroom
At some point of our life, we’ve all woken up from a nightmare, obviously terrified and shook up, but then realize it wasn’t real. But imagine waking up and living that nightmare. Imagine seeing a creature in your bedroom looking at you, but not being able to move or yell for help. This is what people with Sleep Paralysis experience nightly.
By Nella6 years ago in Psyche
Driving and Alzheimer's Disease: The Risk of Crashes
If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, there are a few important things you’ll need to consider. You should know how life will change with these diagnosis, and you need to know the risks of continuing to drive. Millions of Americans live with Alzheimer’s, so you’re not alone. Here’s everything you need to know about living with this disease.
By Carlos Fox6 years ago in Psyche
Seasonal Depression
Ahh it is that time of year once again, the clocks have gone back an hour, making 5 PM feel more like 6 PM, and it gets dark at 4:30 PM. Not only is the outside world seemingly greyer, but your outlook on things may be as well. You start to feel down and have no explanation for why you feel this way, other than it's just the weather; then you are dealing with Seasonal Depression.
By Hannah Elliott6 years ago in Psyche
My Disability Isn't Your Scapegoat
There are few things that are more frustrating than when I hear someone toss, “Oh my god I am so ADD right now” around like it's the next big thing, when really it’s just your excuse for why you weren’t paying attention. And quite frankly, as someone who has struggled with the ups and downs of ADD/ADHD, it’s pretty insulting. And don't even get me started on the whole "your friend’s, sister’s, cousin’s, dog’s owner has ADD/ADHD which gives you a free pass to use it" mentality.
By Emily Christyson6 years ago in Psyche